When Sues Attack
by FandomsForeva
Summary: Camp Half-Blood is under a plague of Mary Sues. Rachel and Annabeth set out to rid the world of these abominations. THERE WILL BE BASHING, WEIRDNESS, AND BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL! Now COMPLETE!
1. The Insanity Begins

**DON'T. OWN. ANYTHING. **

"Annabeth, we've got to stop this," begged Rachel Dare. "It's beginning to affect me. I get all of these urges to go up and start kissing Percy, even though I know you're his girlfriend. And I'm the Oracle! The ORACLE!"

Annabeth considered the girl in front of her. Rachel was probably the last ally that she had left. The Mary Sues had started showing up a few weeks ago, and many of the original campers had already started to go OOC. Will Solace had sighted Thalia kissing Nico, just before Will himself started dating around fifty different girls at once. Drew and the rest of the Aphrodite girls had started dressing like sluts, wearing too much makeup, and altogether acting like they were daughters of…whoever the goddess of harlots was rather than daughters of Aphrodite. All of the boys in the Aphrodite Cabin had mysteriously gone missing (although Annabeth wasn't sure how much they'd be missed, they'd been altogether forgettable in every way).

"You're right, Rachel," said Annabeth. "But I don't see how. Most of them have amazing powers. We'd probably die trying to kill them off."

"Better to die then to live like this!" Rachel exclaimed. "I can't take this anymore. I saw a few of them walking around with cell phones. Their hair changes every other day."

"Well…"

"One of them claims to be the head counselor to the Athena Cabin!"

Annabeth looked at Rachel stone facedly. "Alright. How do we kill them?"

Rachel shrugged. "Beats me. I was hoping that you would know, being the daughter of Athena and all."

"Gee, I've never thought about it. You know, of all the things in my life, the one I regret most is not knowing how to kill a Sue," said Annabeth sarcastically.

"Maybe we could push them through the plot holes," Rachel suggested.

"There are too many of them for that," Annabeth contradicted. "I think that we should only kill a few of them. The author can kill off the rest of them in their sleep, or send them to fight in the Battle of Hogwarts. She should have fun with that."

"Sounds good," said Rachel. "But one problem. They'll just keep coming back. How do we stop them?"

"Why don't we make a guide about what not to do? People who actually care about the quality of their stories might pay attention to that," Annabeth suggested.

Rachel looked at Annabeth, an uncharacteristic glint in her eye. "And so it begins. Tomorrow, we begin our crusade to rid Camp Half-Blood—and the world—of the dreaded Sue!"

"Sure," agreed Annabeth. "But can you not do that? It's creepy."

"Don't blame me," said Rachel. "The author obviously ran out of things to say for this chapter and wants to move the plot along."

"That makes sense," said Annabeth. "See ya tomorrow."

**Like it? Hate it? Hit that sexy review button! **


	2. Meridia Wise

**I am not Rick. **

Annabeth entered the mouth of Rachel's cave. Apparently, Apollo gave no regard to the No Electronics rule of Camp Half-Blood, because Rachel had a TV. Annabeth looked around. Creepily, Rachel was nowhere to be seen.

Someone tapped Annabeth on the shoulder, and she almost had a heart attack. "Don't do that, Rachel," Annabeth said.

"Sorry," Rachel apologized. She was wearing a huge, ungainly backpack. "Anyway, are you ready to get started on killing these Sues?"

Annabeth cracked her knuckles. "Hades yeah. And the first one that we're killing is that wannabe daughter of Athena."

"Studies show that people hate daughters of Artemis more," Rachel objected, but a look from Annabeth silenced her.

Rachel reached into the huge, ungainly backpack. She pulled out a very messy filing folder. She started going through it, trying to find the right paper. Watching the disorganization of it was giving Annabeth a migraine. Annabeth closed her eyes tightly. "Stop, please," she begged.

"Found it!" Rachel called. "Crisis averted."

"I still have a headache."

"Oh, shut up."

A disgruntled Annabeth followed Rachel to the couch in front of the TV. Rachel picked up a TV remote and turned the TV on. "I have no idea how this technology exists," Rachel said. "Apparently, it was the only thing that the author could think of for this purpose."

Rachel typed the name: Meridia Luanne Wise into the TV searchbox. A face came up that matched the face on the filing paper. "Apparently, Meridia Luanne Wise comes from an underprivileged background. She was beaten by her dad and stepmom. She has blonde curly hair and grey eyes. She has a perfect GPA. She's defeated hundreds of monsters. She's an expert with a knife, a bow, and a sword, despite only arriving at Camp Half-Blood about a week ago."

"And how is she the head counselor of the Athena Cabin?" asked Annabeth.

"You stepped down for her after realizing how amazing she was," Rachel told her. Annabeth clenched her fists. "That Sue is going down."

"Let's see what dear Meridia Wise is doing now, shall we?" Rachel said. She turned on the TV.

_Meridia Luanne Wise sits on the dock, alone and lonely, trapped in the realm of italics. Her blonde hair flows in the wind. Her placid stormy gray eyes, a sure sign of a daughter of Athena—_

"Oh, come on! Placid stormy gray eyes? Isn't that a contradiction in itself?" Annabeth demanded. **WHAT NOT TO DO: #1. Don't contradict yourself. **

Rachel picked up her coffee and pressed play. _Meridia lets a beautiful foot dangle into the water. Behind her, another person steps onto the dock. Meridia turns, and lets her lovely face break into a dazzling smile. It is Percy Jackson, the joy of her life. _

Annabeth is growing steadily angrier. Rachel spit out her coffee. "Wait, what? Does she just have a useless crush on him, or is he cheating on you?"

_"Meridia!" He sighs. "It's been so long since I've seen you." _

_ "30 minutes, at least," Meridia says with a laugh that is both open and free, and also cool and stern, which totally sums up her personality._

**#2. Don't do…that. **

"We have to stop this," said Rachel, staring at the TV with utter horror. "As an artist, I can say that this is pure and utter bullcrap. And this author still has grammar! Can you imagine what the no-grammar ones will be like?"

"I think I can help," said a nasal voice from the door.

Drew stood in the door. No one noticed her coming towards them because at that moment, it was convienient for the story because the author is horribly lazy. She was wearing fishnet tights that looked like they were painted on, a miniskirt that looked ridiculously uncomfortable, and a tight shirt. Her face was caked in makeup.

"I want to help you kill the Mary Sues," Drew said. "I don't want to be like this anymore. If you read the actual books, I'm quite beautiful and practical in my clothing, I just am totally evil. I want to go back to the way I was."

Rachel and Annabeth exchanged glances. "But you've gone OOC. You're a…a Sue!"

"Oh, please," Drew spat. "They've only changed my appearance, not my personality. In this world, appearance is all that matters."

"That makes a surprising amount of sense," admitted Annabeth.

"And I'm killing Miss Meridia Wise. She called me a slut in front of the entire camp. I'm going to get payback," Drew said menacingly.

"Sure," agreed Rachel. It was probably good not to argue with an angry Drew. She could be surprisingly brutal when she wanted to.

"Can I have a frying pan?" Drew asked. "I'm going to try to bludgeon her to death. Should be fun."

"Over there." Rachel pointed to the kitchenette.

"See ya guys later," Drew said, leaving.

"Well, that was weird," Rachel said to Annabeth once Drew was out of earshot.

"On to the next Sue!" 


	3. Daughter Of Artemis

**I'm not Rick. I wouldn't be butchering these characters if I was. **

Rachel and Annabeth walked down to the next Sue, a daughter of Artemis named Speshul Snowflake.

**#3: Don't name your characters something like that. It's probably a bad sign. **

"Speshul runs superfast. She's super strong. She's forbidden from dating, since she's a daughter of Artemis. She's got silver hair and silver eyes, which makes me want to throw up. She's a double D cup—Gah! What pervs are writing this thing? She shoots better than the most experienced children of Apollo. She's yet another demigod with a 4.0 GPA. She has a scar over her arm, but that just makes her sexier, apparently. Weaknesses—she's in love with Leo Valdez, who's in love with Calypso. This apparently gives her inner turmoil," Rachel said. Both she and Annabeth took a brief break to throw up at this description.

_Speshul Snowflake, the forbidden daughter of Artemis, looks into the forbidden woods. She has an aura of forbidden beauty. She sighs, thinking of her plight as the only daughter of Artemis, and her pain at being forbidden. Her lovely long silver hair, an attribute of being a forbidden daughter of Artemis, blows in the breeze. The breeze, at least, is not forbidden. She turns, sensing two people walking towards her. _

**#4. Don't use the same word so many times in a paragraph. It's annoying. **

"How can she sense us from this far away?" Rachel asked Annabeth.

"Beats me," Annabeth said. "She's a Sue. She's got mystical powers like that."

_Seeing who it is, just Rachel and Annabeth, two others dedicated to making her life miserable, Speshul Snowflake turns back to the woods, her sanctuary (despite them being forbidden and dangerous, because she's just that awesome). Sobs wrack her beautiful body. _

Annabeth and Rachel continued walking towards Speshul Snowflake. "Hey," Rachel said once they were in walking distance. "Sorry about this. I know that it's not really you're fault that you're a Sue and all, but we're going to have to kill you."

Speshul looked at them. Her chin started quivering, and she started crying in a beautiful manner that made Rachel and Annabeth want to throw up again. Just being near Speshul was making Annabeth hear little voices in her head: "Just act like a bitch, it'll help the story!" "Hmm, act like a whore!" Annabeth made herself write down another rule of writing to stop the little voices.

**#5. Sobbing is never beautiful. It is a physical impossibility. **

Annabeth was getting pissed off. Killing all of these Sues was seeming harder and harder. Being around them was making her feel sorry for them, and she could see that Rachel felt the same way. "Why are we killing them and not their authors again?" she asked Rachel.

"Killing their authors counts as homicide," Rachel said. "I don't want to go to jail!"

"So…you're going to kill me," said Speshul Snowflake in a calm, dignified manner, without a trace of the crying she had been doing before. Her author decided in a split second that she was now from the Shakespearean era. "Ah, cruel prejudice! Alas, I have always known that my fate as a forbidden daughter of Artemis was to be killed. Is there no other way?"

"Sorry, but no," Rachel apologized. "Your weakness is 'madly in love with Leo Valdez, who is in love with Calypso.' This isn't Twilight, and all of the Caleo and Leyna shippers are in outcry. Plus, we're trying to make this story slightly feminist. You have no weaknesses, and therefore, you are a Sue and must die."

Speshul Snowflake probably would've died in a dignified, quiet manner, because of her inner turmoil at being rejected by Leo and her pain at being a forbidden daughter of Artemis, but being called a Sue is the one thing that she and her author could not take. Speshul stood up, and started aiming her arrows at Rachel and Annabeth. She did this in a benign, friendly way, but Annabeth and Rachel realized at that moment that they were staring down the shaft of an arrow shot by a master marksman with no weaknesses whatsoever, unless you count being sad over a boy, which you don't. Annabeth and Rachel realized that they were probably going to die.

"Thanks a lot, Rachel," Annabeth said sarcastically.

"Sorry," Rachel apologized. "See ya in the Netherworld."

Speshul Snowflake had only notched one arrow, but she was a Sue, so that arrow was probably somehow going to hit both Rachel and Annabeth, despite them standing about 10 feet apart. Speshul was probably going to reveal that she had control over the wind, and make the arrow change course in midair to skewer both of them. This was an awful way to go.

To increase the suspense, Speshul drew back her bowstring in slow motion. _Dear Lords, _thought Annabeth_, she's related to Kronos too. _Suddenly, a silver arrow flew out of nowhere, hitting Speshul. Her generous chest area did nothing to stop the blow. Speshul collapsed and disappeared in a puddle of rainbows and tiny little unicorns eating cupcakes.

Annabeth and Rachel turned. It was Thalia.

"Hey, guys!" Thalia said. "Don't worry, I'm not OOC. Yet. There's a bunch of girls who have tried to join the Hunt who think that they can still date anyone that they want. Plus, a bunch of daughters of Artemis started cropping up. The Lady gave me these arrows so that I could kill them and protect her reputation."

This explanation seemed plausible. For some reason, the Hunt pretty much never popped up in any stories, so Lady Artemis and the Hunters had been isolated enough to avoid the plague. Of course, once the Sues started joining, there was no telling how soon everyone would go OOC.

"Do you want to help us kill off the Sues?" Annabeth asked. It seemed like they needed all the help that they could get.

"Tell you what. I'll kill off all of the daughters of Artemis and leave the rest to you. That way, the author won't have to write any more daughter of Artemis chapters unless enough readers request it, and you'll know that in the background, I'll be killing Sues too."

This would've been a great culmination for the chapter, but suddenly there was a voice behind them, saying, "Did you just kill Speshul Snowflake?"


	4. Crossovers, Crossovers

**I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. Thank you to the guest who gave me the idea of a Sue bleeding rainbows. **

Rachel and Annabeth turned around. Thalia had mysteriously disappeared for the sake of the story. Piper, daughter of Aphrodite, was standing there. During the OOC disease, Piper had become strangely schizophrenic. Sometimes she was very very kind and open to everyone. Sometimes she was slutty and rude and bitchy, which shall not be further explained, because of the author's utter disregard for Character Development.

"I'm sorry, did I just see you kill Speshul Snowflake? The ever amazing Speshul Snowflake? The daughter of Artemis who's pretty enough to be a daughter of Aphrodite who Jason has a crush on but who somehow doesn't offend me at all?" Bitchy!Piper demanded. Suddenly, she switched to Kind!Piper. "Is that a puddle of rainbows? OMG, guys! Thanks for making that puddle of rainbows for me! You know how much I love rainbows." She switched back to Bitchy!Piper. "You morons. I can't believe that you killed Speshul. And eew! You turned her into a puddle of disgusting rainbows! Next you'll be going after Jason!"

"I'm the Oracle. I don't date," objected Rachel.

"I'm dating Percy," Annabeth said.

"NEXT YOU'LL BE GOING AFTER JASON!" Screamed Bitchy!Piper.

"Let's just kill her," suggested Rachel. "We can't have any witnesses, and she's annoying."

"The author won't tolerate the killing of canon characters," Annabeth said.

"Damn."

"Look, Piper," Annabeth said. "We need to kill off the Sues. We won't kill you. In fact, we'll help you by removing all competition for Jason."

Piper considered the loss of life for a millisecond. "That's a worthy cause."

"Alright. So we're killing Kry'stal Ra'vyn Lothlyri'an Valar'wyn next, because the author was out of inspirations since no one requested another Sue to kill. She's another one in the Goth line of Sues, the ones with horrible past who normally get with Nico."

_Kry'stal Ra'vyn Lothlyri'an Valar'wyn was alone, utterly alone. The bruises, on her back where no one could see them, throbbed. "Why does no one love me?" She wailed in a sexy manner. "Why does no one care about me other than everyone at Camp Half-Blood?" _

_ Beautiful, diamond-like tears fell from her lovely, purple-green eyes with silver and gold tints. She had run away from home because her parents didn't love her. If they loved her, than they would let her play her music all the way up while the baby was sleeping! They wouldn't make her do the dishes or take out the trash! Cruel, cruel world…the one person who had ever loved her was Legolas Greenleaf, but she hadn't seen him in a long time. He could've been killed by orcs, for all she knew…and she would never see her beloved again. _

**#6. Don't bring in any other fandoms unless you've already explained that your story is a crossover. **

Rachel, Annabeth, and Piper walked up to Kry'stal Ra'vyn…actually, we're just going to call her Krysty right now…but before they could say anything to her, they felt themselves being lifted off of the ground. Krysty stood up holding a knife—"Is that my knife? The one I lost in Tartarus?" Annabeth demanded.

Krysty said in a very Goth manner, "You're going to kill me. I guess that I'm going to have to kill you first."

There was no Thalia coming to their rescue now, so Annabeth started her favorite method of doing anything—talking.

"So, Kry'stal—actually, can I call you Krysty? What's up?"

"I know what you're thinking," said Krysty. "Because in addition to being phycokinectic, controlling all four elements, a master archer, and being able to talk to animals, I'm psychic. You're thinking that Krysty doesn't have anyone who loves her, and therefore she needs to die. Well, you're right, no one loves me. Except for my amazing boyfriend, Legolas Greenleaf. But I am not going to die. I'm going to kill you actually, because…" here she paused, not knowing what her reason was for killing them. "Because you annoy me." She slowly raised her knife to Rachel's neck.

The wheels in Annabeth's head started turning. There weren't any plot holes to push Krysty through, and anyway, Annabeth couldn't move her arms. But what Krysty had said had made no sense.

"Your boyfriend is Legolas from Lord of the Rings? You do realize that this is the Percy Jackson fandom, right?" Annabeth asked.

Krysty paused, her knife millimeters away from Rachel's skin. "Yes, I do. Why wouldn't I?"

"So you do know that this is the Percy Jackson fandom," Annabeth said desperately. "Well, who's your godly parent?"

A patch of acne suddenly broke out on Krysty's otherwise perfect, pale skin. "Well, my godly parent is…um…Hera?"

"Hera would never have children with a mortal. She's the goddess of marriage," Annabeth said.

The black nail polish on Krysty's fingers instantly chipped. "Well, who's going to uphold that rule? There's about fifty daughters of Artemis and Hestia running around."

It seemed that Krysty was one of the smarter Sues. Krysty put her knife against Rachel's neck. Annabeth looked hard at Krysty, trying to find her flaws.

"I see that your hair is long and black today," said Annabeth. "Yesterday it was curly and blond. And on Wednesday, it was wavy and red. On Tuesday, you had a brown pixie cut. And who has 'lovely, purple-green eyes with silver and gold tints?' You seriously need to rethink your bio."

Throughout her tangent, Krysty was slowly deteriorating. First, she developed more pimples. Then, her lips went from vibrant red to a light pink. Her eyes turned a regular brown, and her hair became mousy. She got some freckles, and a bad sunburn. Her nose became more pointed, until she looked…exactly like a regular female teenager.

"Just as I thought," said Annabeth. "She's a self-insert."

"What have you done to me?" Krysty shakily demanded.

"Let's send her back to the Lord of the Rings universe," said Rachel. "It'll make everything easier."

Piper suddenly became Nice!Piper. "I'll charmspeak her!"

Annabeth resisted the urge to yell, "duh!"

Nice!Piper became Bitchy!Piper. "I banish you to whence you came, you demonic beast! You shall never harm Jiper again!"

With a poof of pink glitter, Kry'stal Ra'vyn Lothlyri'an Valar'wyn disappeared.

_It was a lovely day on Middle-Earth. Legolas and his group of hunters journeyed through the woods. Suddenly, a beautiful young girl wearing all black came out of nowhere. "My name is Kry'stal Ra'vyn Lothlyri'an Valar'wyn!" she yelled. Legolas heard "Goo gump lar snarl hiss!" _

_ "My beloved Legolas!" the girl wearing black said beautifully. She proceeded to hug him. _

"_Krysty!" Legolas exclaimed. "I love you. Will you marry…" _

_BOOM! Suddenly, the elves were infused with logic. Legolas now looked terrified. In the PJO fandom, she was beautiful, but in the Lord of the Rings fandom, she looked…rather like an orc, wearing the skin of another orc. What Legolas had heard was obviously some variant on Black Speech. And she had briefly made him fall in love with her! "Some foul variation of Orc!" Legolas said in Elvish. "We shall take it in for questioning. Subdue it!" _

_ Another elf knocked Krysty out. The hunting group dragged her body through the woods, back to the palace of Thranduil. _

"Well that was lovely!" Annabeth exclaimed. "On to the next Sue!"

**Request the next Sue to die in your reviews! **

**~FandomsForeva**


	5. Why Would You Do That?

Annabeth, Rachel, and Piper fell to the ground, the invisible bonds around their necks gone. Almost immediately, a boy came up to them.

"Hey, Annie," he said. The boy had black hair and green eyes. He was amazingly muscled, and Annabeth couldn't help but realize that he looked slightly like Percy. Was there another boy in the Poseidon cabin? That wouldn't surprise her. There were so many new arrivals nowadays, and so many of them were getting claimed, that she couldn't keep up with all of them.

The boy smiled down at her in a way that could be seen as harassing. When Annabeth didn't return his smile, he started wagging his eyebrows. Annabeth started hearing voices in her head: "Oh! I'll make Annabeth cheat on Percy with his brother! Percy can join Chaos and date Artemis! Hooray, a plot!"

It seemed that Annabeth could hear the devious voices of Suethors in her head. Whether that was a good thing or not, Annabeth didn't know.

Annabeth stood up. "Hi, um…what's your name?"

"I'm Mark, duh," the boy said. "Let's go the beach. Percy will never find us there. We can kiss, and he'll never know."

Annabeth slapped him. "What is wrong with you?" she demanded.

Mark leaned in. Annabeth got ready to kill him if he kissed her. Instead, he whispered, "Did you forget your line? You have to come with me. We kiss, and Percy finds us. You break his heart. Awesome, right? Just as awesome as me!"

**#7. Never, ever, ever write a story like this. It will NEVER happen. **

_Dear Athena, save me, _Annabeth thought. "No thanks. That makes no sense whatsoever. I love Percy, and he loves me. I would never cheat on him! He fell into freaking Tartarus for me! You need to go lie in a hole and die there!"

Mark, son of Poseidon blinked twice. "Uh, okay, Annie. Let's go kiss in the woods, then."

"AARGH!" Annabeth yelled. "I have a #& boyfriend! And don't call me Annie!"

Mark looked ridiculously confused. "But..but…it's a Chaos story! You have to!"

Rachel stepped between them. "Annabeth, remember how Kry'stal Ra'vyn Lothlyri'an Valar'wyn got all weird when faced with logic?" she put in. "Use your logic." She winked.

"Ha ha, logic!" Mark said. "Nowhere near as awesome as I am."

Annabeth got ready to lose her logic and her sanity.

"I mean, why would you want to be with Percy? He's just a weirdo. I'm awesome, and cool, and great, and—"

Annabeth stabbed him. He collapsed into another puddle of rainbows.

"Logic might be great, but he needed to exit the world as fast as possible," said Annabeth.

"No one begrudges you that," said Rachel.

"Rainbows!" exclaimed Nice!Piper.

"The problem is that there are so many stories where you and Percy break up or cheat on each other, or something," Rachel pointed out.

"I know! Percabeth, is like, an OTP!" Nice!Piper said.

"We need to address this," said Annabeth. "But let's not make it a chapter where we just let out the anger that the author has at ships that break up Percabeth."

"Like PerZoe?" Asked Rachel.

"PerZoe will never happen! Zoe is a dead Hunter with great distain for males!"

There was an explosion in the distance. A small mushroom cloud came up. "I think that was the PerZoe ship. You killed PerZoe," said Bitchy!Piper.

Annabeth looked up at the sky. She yelled, trying to catch the attention of whoever was spying on her. "You know what else won't ever happen? Perachel!"

"Damn right!" Rachel screamed. "I'm the freakin' Oracle! I don't date, and I don't even like Percy even more! Octachel won't happen either!"

There were two more explosions. Annabeth and Rachel had somehow managed to kill Perachel and Octachel, despite them being no more than ideas. Annabeth and Rachel went on, naming other ships such as Jasabeth, Perartemis, Pothena, and Perlypso. With each ship they proved logically wrong, another small explosion happened, and the world became a better place as they were rid of these ships.

"Brason!" Bitchy!Piper called. Annabeth and Rachel looked at her. "What?" she asked. "Jason is my boyfriend. I don't like him being shipped with a brick. I mean, how is a brick better than me?"

Another explosion. Another mushroom cloud.

"We've made the world a slightly better place," said Rachel.

But it was not over yet. Because in the distance, they saw Nico approaching them. He was surrounded by a hoard of Sues, all chanting his name and vying for his attention. This was not good.


	6. Nico the Popular

**Disclaimer: NOT RICK NOT RICK NOT RICK**

**Thanks to all of my reviewers! Enjoy! **

"NICO! NICO! NICO!"

Said son of Hades was surrounded by Sues, vying for his attention. Annabeth wasn't sure what to feel when she saw a few Stus in the crowd. She guessed that the acceptance of the Suethors was good.

"NICO! NICO! NICO!"

The crowd of Sues (and Stus) was getting closer. Nico was in the center, as if he was the nucleus of a purported cell. On the edge of the crowd of Sues, there were some punk looking girls with hair blacker than Thalia's, eyes bluer than Thalia's, and skin paler than Thalia's. Closer to the center were smiling, giggling girls in pink who probably couldn't pick up a sword to save their lives. The Stus were blonder than Will Solace, tanner than Will Solace—they were pretty much Will Solace look-alikes. There were one or two of them that were goth-looking, and were pretty much Nico look-alikes. _That is just…disgusting, _Annabeth thought.

**#7: DON'T EVER MAKE YOUR SUES AND OTHER ADD-INS LOOK LIKE THE ORIGINAL CHARACTERS.**

"Ladies!" Nico yelled. "Please leave me alone. There's nothing to like here." As if to prove it, he raised some zombies. That backfired, as it just made the Sues become even more hysterical. Annabeth even saw some Sues with hearts for eyes. That terrified her.

"Nico!" cried a lovestruck daughter of Hestia, Flame Nightshadow. "Come with me! We will rule flame and shadows! I love you!"

"Nico, pick me!" yelled a daughter of Poseidon, Oceana Blaze Dirt Airina Beautiflawless Jackson. "We were meant to be together! We will bridge this petty hatred between our fathers! Percy has already blessed our marriage!" A girl next to her who was much uglier (probably a Sue there just to show how awesome aforementioned daughter of Poseidon was) named Janice nodded her agreement.

Flame Nightshadow started pulling Silver Ocean Jackson's hair. Silver stepped on Flame's feet. "OW!" Flame exclaimed. "Nico, save me!"

"No! Nico save me! Marry me!"

Nico looked around wildly and saw Annabeth. From the utter terror in his eyes, Annabeth could tell that he had not been Sue-ified. Annabeth had heard the Sues talk about his "gorgeous Italian chocolately eyes,"but all Annabeth saw was utter fear.

"Annabeth! Rachel! Please, save me! I'm the victim here!" he shouted. It was kind of…sad to see the powerful son of Hades begging for help, surrounded by a crowd of deadly gorgeous girls.

But then again, Nico wanted to Sues dead. So did they.

"Rachel, start looking for weaknesses," Annabeth ordered. "Started with Oceana Blaze Dirt Air…Gah! Her name justifies her death."

"Daughter of Poseidon…Sister of Percy…Apparently she's the one who really defeated Kronos and did all the things that Percy did…"

**#8: Percy defeated the titans and giants and is a hero. He does not have a sister.**

"Controls all four elements, despite not being related to Hephaestus, Zeus, or Gaea at all…" Rachel continued. "she's beautiful and flawless, as her name oh-so-subtly suggests…DEAR GODS! MY EYES! THEY BURN!"

Rachel thrust the paper into Annabeth's line of vision, and Annabeth saw something so unbelievable awful under "ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS" that her eyes started to burn as if they'd been bathed in chili powder. Piper craned her neck to see the paper, and began to scream.

"WHY MUST SUETHORS INSIST ON WRITING DISGUSTING BITS OF…PORN ALL THE TIME?!" Piper screamed.

"MY EYES!" Annabeth shouted.

Rachel simply sobbed from her position on the ground. "I…I didn't sign up to read disgusting bits of NC-17 rated stuff all of the time! I just wanted to be the Oracle!"

Annabeth pulled herself together. She wrote another rule. (**#9: TRY NOT TO WRITE SMUT. IF YOU MUST, THAN YOU MUST WARN EVERYONE. ALWAYS. THERE WILL NEVER BE AN EXCEPTION TO THIS RULE.) **"Okay. That's the most horrifying thing I've ever read. It was so amazingly horrifying that it made me want to stab my own eyes with forks. It was so awful that I wanted to stab everyone within a ten-yard radius to keep them from having to read that."

"We get it," interjected Rachel.

"It's so terrible," Annabeth continued, "that the readers will wonder what it said, but will never know. It's so bad, that—"

"WE GET IT!" yelled Rachel, Piper, the Sues, the readers, and Nico, and the author slouched away from the computer, upset.

"Alright," said Annabeth. "We've figured out that what that paper says is…horrible. But we still need to find her weakness."

Annabeth gingerly picked up the paper and looked directly to the bottom. _Fatal flaw: Loyalty, just like her twin, Percy! They're like, exactly the same! _

"Loyalty?!" giggled Rachel. "That's, like, totally copying Percy. OMG, my Percy-poo is so cute!"

Annabeth and Piper stared at her, horrified.

"I'm sorry!" wailed Rachel. "Being around all of these Sues is making me go OOC! We have to stop this!"

"I think that I have a solution," said Bitchy!Piper. She grabbed Janice and held Katropis to her throat. The author reread everything so far, realized that this made no sense, and decided to ignore it.

"Oceana!" Piper yelled. "I will kill your best friend if you don't…uh…come over here."

"You wouldn't really kill me, would you?" said Janice in a raspy voice.

"No, of course not!" giggled Nice!Piper. She switched back to Bitchy!Piper. "Of course I would, you moron! You're gonna die!"

"Janice! My best friend!" shouted Oceana in a tinkling, beautiful voice. "I'm sorry, but I must let you die. It's for the greater good." She turned back to Nico and punched Flame Nightshadow in the face.

"HOLD IT!" yelled Rachel. "THAT MADE NO SENSE, OCEANA!"

"Yeah!" agreed Annabeth. "It says that your fatal flaw is loyalty. Someone who's too loyal would never abandon their friends! What do you have to say about that?"

"I don't care," said Janice. "Oceana, you have to like, get Nico to like you! I don't mind dying!"

"Shut up," said Annabeth. "Do you even have a purpose in life other than showing how amazing Oceana is?"

Janice exploded, probably from an overload of logic. Such a second-rate Sue as her didn't even get a puddle of rainbows, just pink dust. In the margins of her list, Annabeth wrote, **It seems that all Sues are allergic to logic. **

"No! Janice!" shrieked Oceana. "Wait…who's Janice? Oh, whatevs!" She turned back to Nico yet again.

"Logic," said Annabeth. "We can kill her with logic."

"Oceana!" Rachel called. "How do you control all four elements?"

"How are you Percy's sister? I'm his girlfriend, and I've never heard about you."

"Why do you like Nico? You have no chemistry."

Oceana started hyperventilating. A few more jibes about her appearance, her fighting skills, how Sally had never told Percy she had a daughter, how her presence ruined the Rule of 3 on quests, and her fashion choices (Piper) made her explode into a shimmering rainbow cloud. Nico jumped for joy, shaking off the many Sues were clinging to him. Unfortunately, this drew the attention of all the other Nico-obsessed Sues, who until now had been fighting amongst themselves for Nico's attention.

"They, just, like, killed Oceana, like," said one of the Sues dressed in pink, who had her arms wrapped around Nico's leg.

"Good riddance," snarled one of the Thalia look-alikes.

"What if they kill US now?" wondered one of the Stus.

"They won't," said a daughter of Demeter.

"They will," said Flame Nightshadow. "KILL THEM!"

**Should I finish this story up next chapter or continue if for another few? Thank you to everyone who gave me suggestions, I promise I will use as many of them as possible. **


	7. The Facebook Cleeshay

_Recap: "They will," said Flame Nightshadow. "Kill them!" _

There was obviously no way that Annabeth, Rachel, and Piper could fight all of these superpowered, immortal, angry Sues and Stus, so Annabeth did what made the most sense. She ran.

Rachel and Piper were pounding on the hard dirt behind her. The Sues started to follow in an angry mob, but eventually they were alerted to the fact that Nico was escaping and abandoned their chase. Annabeth collapsed, panting.

"We'll get you someday, and you'll die a slow death," the retreating figure of Flame Nightshadow threatened. "But right now, I've got bigger fish to fry! Nico! I love you, snuggly-poo!"

Rachel glared at the retreating crowd of Sues. "OH, COME ON!" she yelled. "THAT WAS WEAK! YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO GET ANYWHERE IN LIFE IF YOU GIVE UP YOUR DREAMS FOR A BOY!"

"Rachel!" Annabeth admonished. "I never knew."

**PERCY JACKSON has logged on.**

"Wait, what was that?" Demanded Rachel.

**JASON GRACE has logged on. **

"Guys," said Piper nervously, all traces of schitzoprenia momentarily gone, "I think that this is…"

**LEO VALDEZ has logged on. **

"Wait, Leo?" Annabeth asked. "I hate to say it, but he's dead."

**HAZEL LEVESQUE has logged on. **

"Uh, isn't she at the Roman camp?" Rachel said.

**FRANK ZHANG has logged on. **

"We're running out of room," Annabeth said. "Pretty soon we'll be crushed on the bottom of the page."

"Guys, it's the Facebook cliché!" screamed Piper.

**ANNABETH CHASE has logged on. **

**Annabeth: Wait, what? I'm not on Facebook!**

**PIPER MCLEAN has logged on. **

**Piper: Oh. My. Gods. We've been sucked into the Facebook cliché. Gods save us *begins praying***

**Annabeth: How do we get out?**

Rachel looked up at the words in the sky. "I'm really glad I'm not on Facebook. Sorry, guys," she said. Just after she finished speaking,

**RACHEL ELIZABETH DARE has logged on. **

**Rachel: Dammit! **

**Piper: This is weird. I want to go back to the real world! **

**Annabeth: Agreed. This is not supposed to happen. We need to kill the Sues. **

**Percy: Guys, what are you talking about? Hey, Wise Girl!**

**Rachel: Guys, keep your thoughts private. **

**Annabeth: Why aren't you keeping your thoughts private? **

**Rachel: Haven't you read any fanfiction? Everyone hates me, and everyone will think the worst no matter what. **

**Percy: Seriously, what are you talking about? **

**Hazel: Yeah. I want to know! **

**Blond Superman: Yeah! **

**Blond Superman: Leo, stop it!**

**Supreme Commander of Argo 2: Heh heh heh.**

**Little Mermaid: Seriously, Leo. My name is PERCY. You have to stop. **

**Animal Man: Yeah, Leo. Stop. **

**Flamin' McShizzle: Whatever, guys. I think your nicknames are funny. **

**Pocahontas: Leo, my new name is really offensive. Also…racist. I'm Native American, but Pocahontas is not the only other Native American. Also, we're not even the same tribe. That is not okay. **

**Jason: It's okay, Pipes. We all know that you're joking. Thanks, Leo. **

**Piper: Jason, I can't believe you. **

**Rachel: So, what's up, guys? Seen any Sues around? **

**Percy, Jason, Flamin' McShizzle, Hazel, Frank: SHUT UP, RACHEL!**

**Aphrodite: You'll never break up Percabeth!**

**RACHEL ELIZABETH DARE has logged off. **

** "Guys, if you want to get out, then log off!" Rachel yelled at the sky. "It's surprisingly easy." **

**Percy: I thought she'd never leave. **

**Aphrodite: Yeah. She'll never break up Percabeth. Although, at least through Facebook, we won't have to see her ugly, makeup-covered face. **

"Hey!" Rachel yelled.

**ANNABETH CHASE has loggeeeddd #$(*^ LKSJOL**

**Percy: Annabeth, you can't log off! I love you! **

Back on the ground, Rachel realized that the others might not let Annabeth and Piper leave. She might have to fight the Sues herself. "Dear gods, no," she whispered.

**Annabeth: GTG**

**Jason: You're not getting off that easily. We have to talk about what to do about Drew! **

**Piper: What?**

**Jason: She won't stop flirting with me and Percy. **

**Percy: It's so annoying. **

"Use logic!" Rachel yelled from the ground. "It's the only way. I need you guys down here!"

**Percy: Ugh. Rachel has no logic. Speaking of which, Annabeth, were you cheating on me with Mark? I saw you kissing. **

**Annabeth: Percy, what are you talking about? I'm dating YOU. **

**Percy: Liar. I'm going to go join the Hunt. **

**Annabeth: Wait, what? The Hunt is exclusively female. Also, I WASN'T CHEATING ON YOU. **

**PERCY JACKSON has logged off. **

**Aphrodite: Sigh! I guess I'll leave now. **

**Annabeth: Demigods CAN'T USE FACEBOOK. It would attract too many monsters, and it often malfunctions around us. Also, why would we use Facebook when we can just talk? And what is Leo doing here? **

From the ground, Rachel heard a sonic boom. All of the words in the sky disappeared, and seven figures were falling fast. When they hit the ground, there were minor injuries. The figure of Leo (who everyone seemed happy to see) disappeared. Everyone else stood up.

The OOC disease had changed most of the Seven's physical appearances. Frank went back and forth from being cute and panda-like and being the epitome of handsome, rugged, male beauty. Percy was very, very, attractive, even drool-worthy, with his very defined six packs and sea-green eyes. Unfortunately, he was always acting like a total idiot. In fact, it was kind of annoying. Hazel went back and forth from being child-like and gorgeous. Jason never smiled anymore, in fact, he was kind of…stern, or he would constantly smile. Jiper was suffering from severe schitzoprenia.

"That was weird," said Jason, referring to the Facebook experience.

"Agreed," agreed Hazel.

The rest of the demigods went back to cheerful banter, but Percy ran away. "I always will love you, Annabeth!" he called. "But you cheated on me. I'm off to join the Hunt!"

"Didn't we already address this?" Rachel asked.

"You're right. Author!" Annabeth called. "We already did this. Please stop."

With a pop, Percy was back with them. "Hey, Annie!" he said.

"Uh…" said Annabeth.

Percy started kissing her rather…violently, but that was what all the Percabeth kisses were like. There was a bit of tongue in there. After a little while, Annabeth pulled away.

"I'd love their help," she whispered to Rachel and Piper, "but they're too OOC. We'd be infected."

"Yeah, and we really need to get to that huge crowd of Sues surrounding Nico," Rachel said.

A new voice cut in, "Maybe I can help."

**The Facebook cliché really needed to be addressed. Hope you liked it! REVIEW! **


	8. Annabeth Goes to Goode

The girl who had offered her help was…

"You're a Sue!" screeched Rachel.

"Ow!" said Annabeth.

"Kill her!" yelled Bitchy!Piper. "Wait, no," said Nice!Piper. "Hang on, yeah, she's a Sue!" said Bitchy!Piper.

"I know you," spat Annabeth. "You're Clarabelle Isabella Katrina Amazinga Perfecta Lerner Smiley Beaa'tiful!"

In no time, Annabeth's sword and Piper's knife were at…uh…Clarabelle's throat and Rachel's blue plastic hairbrush was ready to bludgeon her. "Say your prayers, sparky," hissed Annabeth. "You'll never harm canon again!"

"Which Sue is she?" Rachel asked.

"Oh, Clarabelle Isabella Katrina Amazinga Perfecta Lerner Smiley Beaa'tiful? She's a daughter of Hecate. She's talented with magic and the Mist, and she's so beautiful that everyone, including Percy and Jason, hits on her. I guess we should feel lucky, though. It could've been her sister xXxLeia Lerner SexayxXx, from one of those M-rated fics."

"Kill her," Rachel said.

"Wait!" begged Clarabelle Isabella Katrina Amazinga…yeah, we're just going to leave it at that. "I was a Sue!"

Rachel, Annabeth, and Piper paused. A Sue admitting that they were a Sue is an amazing thing that you won't see more than once a century.

"But I changed," Clarabelle continued. "I rewrote everything! I changed my name to Leah Lerner. I don't have 'hair the color of the golden sunrise' anymore. I'm just a dirty blonde. Where it says 'eyes like melted chocolate,' I put 'brown.' I have a bad sunburn, and I don't have control over the Mist anymore. I'm just a really average daughter of Hecate. I don't have many friends, but not because I'm tragically misunderstood, but because I'm mean to people and have a superiority complex."

"Fatal flaw?" Annabeth pressed.

"Underestimating others. Not being able to take defeat."

They released her. "So how did you make yourself…not a Sue?" Rachel asked. "Maybe I should make a painting of it. It would be beautiful, that's for sure."

"I don't know. I just…saw the light, you know? My author wanted to write some smut, so I rebelled against her. I mean, I'm like, sixteen! I don't want to…do that."

"Ah," agreed Rachel.

"How can you help us?" asked Nice!Piper.

"You're trying to defeat all of the Sues right?" Leah asked.

"Yeah. Right now, we're trying to kill all of the Nico-lovers."

Leah winced. "Don't tell me your one of…those," accused Rachel.

"_Was_ one of those," Leah clarified. "I mean, it's just…I'm sixteen. And he's what, thirteen? It's just…gross. They deserve to die for that pedophilia. That actually counts as child harassment in some states."

"And how can you help us?" Nice!Piper asked.

"Before the rest of my sisters went—" Leah swallowed—"OOC, we were developing a potion that makes a person immune to going OOC. You could use it, so that around all of the Sues, you wouldn't go OOC. At all."

"Great plan," Nice!Piper said.

"When is Bitchy!Piper going to make another appearance?" Rachel asked.

"That's offensive," scowled Bitchy!Piper.

"There you are," Rachel smiled.

"How do we survive all of the Sues?" Annabeth asked.

"You're asking me?" Leah seemed surprised. "Push them through the plot holes, I guess."

"That's what I said!"

Annabeth became aware of Chiron trotting up to them. "Hey, chicks," he slurred like a stoned hippie.

Annabeth decided to ignore the fact that Chiron was totally OOC. At least he wasn't hitting on her anymore. "What do you need, Chiron?" she asked.

"You're like, going to Goode!" exclaimed Chiron.

This was met with stunned silence. "But…uh…it's summer. And I'm a year-rounder, so is Leah. Piper, I'm not sure what you do during the school year, but I'm pretty sure that it's not Goode. Rachel goes to Clarion Ladies' Academy. Plus, we need to kill Sues."

"Whas Sues?" Chiron questioned. "Hey, Rach, wassap?"

"Um," said Rachel.

The author of this deranged Chiron decided that she hadn't butchered him enough and gave him another line. "Like, whatevs. You're going to Goode to see Percy."

And with that, Chiron trotted off to bother another camper. Annabeth felt a strange pulling sensation and the world began spinning. She closed her eyes to avoid extreme nausea, and when she opened them, she was wearing a stylish outfit outside a building marked Goode High School.

"We did not just transport against all laws of physics!" protested Leah in a squeaky voice. Annabeth noticed that Rachel, Piper, and Leah were wearing ugly clothes and looked slightly worse than usual. It would seem that in high school clichés, Annabeth was made more beautiful than she normally was.

_Annabeth goes to Goode! But there she finds out that all of the girls—Yeah, all of them, tee hee!1!—are hungry for a kiss from Percy!1 Will Percabeth survive? Read 2 find out! I promise that it will be different from all of the rest!_

"Ah, the summary," said Rachel. "Otherwise known as the most pathological of all liars. It says that it will be different, but it never is."

"That author's a little happy with the exclamation points," Annabeth observed.

"And notice how she uses '2' for 'to' and forgets to keep pressing the Shift key throughout all of her exclamation points, for that nice '!1' effect," Piper observed. "And 'Will Percabeth survive?' Is that even a question?"

"And did that author seriously say 'tee hee?'" Leah demanded.

A bell rang somewhere inside the school. Annabeth jumped. "I guess that all we can do is outsmart this school situation with logic," she said. "Come on!"

"Nuh uh," Rachel objected. "There's no way that I'm going into a school over the summer."

After a little while, they managed to beat down Rachel's protests. They entered Goode, Annabeth in the lead, to the raucous wolf-whistles of every single boy in sight.

"Hey, new girl!" One of the jock-types yelled. "Did you fall from heaven?"

"Movies at seven, my house at eight," another one of them called. "We can have some…fun, if you know what I mean."

"Eww," Annabeth muttered under her breath.

"Feisty, huh?" The same jock replied. "Just makes it better in bed."

Rachel and Leah grabbed Annabeth's arms and dragged her forward. Piper trailed behind them, glaring at all of the jocks. "I just met a really stereotypical social stigma," Leah said brightly. "That was…weird."

Out of nowhere—literally, the boy appeared out of nowhere—a boy came up to them and smiled at Annabeth. "Hey, I'm Drake," he said.

"Annabeth. I'm looking for a boy named Percy Jackson." Annabeth didn't know what made her say that. It was scary to think that an author out somewhere would be writing her words for her.

"Annabeth," said Drake, glaring. "So you're just one of those girls whose pretending to be Percy's girlfriend. Well I can tell you, it won't work. Leave him alone." He turned around and stalked off.

"That was weird," Annabeth scowled. "And the nerve of him!"

"Hang on, an abandoned hallway," said Rachel. "The school slut is going to kiss Percy, and he's going to reject her."

"Hey Percy-poo," purred a slutty-looking girl, who started kissing Percy.

"Get off Cara," Percy snarled, pushing "Cara" into the lockers so hard that a dent was made, but somehow Cara wasn't hurt at all. "I have a girlfriend."

"Thanks, Percy," Annabeth said, striding into sight. Annabeth kissed him, and he kissed back. Annabeth pulled away.

"Rachel, I don't think that we can kill this with logic. These type of stories are pretty good, and normally are logical. We just need to get back to Camp Half-Blood and kill the Sues."

"She's right," said Leah. "These stories are always pretty good as long as good grammar is maintained. We should leave them alone."

There was more spinning, and suddenly Annabeth felt herself back on the grass in Camp Half-Blood.

"So…all we had to do was admit that not all fanfiction was bad to get back?" Rachel asked. "Weird."

"Yeah, weird," said another voice. Annabeth looked up. _Flame Nightshadow, _she though. _You're back. _

"You know what else is weird?" Flame Nightshadow continued. "How now, we're going to kill you."


	9. Great Gods of Canon

Flame Nightshadow and the rest of the Sues stood over them, glaring. Nico was there too, being held there by a daughter of Chaos and Nyx named Arden, a mortal named Nasicaa, and a daughter of Artemis named Mononoke. "Save yourselves and come back for me later!" he yelled. "They want to—"

He was cut off by Arden. "Nikki-poo, why don't you be quiet?" she purred.

Flame Nightshadow grinned sadistically, and that weird smile made her features look somewhat less than beautiful for once. Her red lips looked more like blood against her pale skin than anything that made her beautiful. Her perfectly manicured fingernails looked like claws, and her skin had gone from being creamy to as white as skim milk, almost blue. Actually, she looked like the world's only ugly vampire.

"You know, I realize what you're doing," snarled Flame Nightshadow. "You're trying to kill all of the Sues. You've already killed some of my sisters, and you want to kill the rest of us, too."

Annabeth wanted to deny it, but staring into Flame's soulless eyes, it was hard to say anything.

"But you won't get away with this," said another Sue, stepping up to join Flame. "I'm Annabella Katrina Arianna, a daughter of Gaea, by the way. And we're, like, going to kill you!"

Annabella was hot, in a barbarian princess type of way. She was wearing a skimpy outfit of furs, and a necklace of bones and teeth. She had dark brown hair that was short and spiky, and was wearing a circlet made out of precious gems. She was wearing a quiver of arrows that seemed to be made out of gold.

"But before we kill you, the last defenders of canon," Flame Nightshadow continued, "We're going to ruin canon forever. And we're going to make you watch. I think that's a fitting punishment for someone who's killed so many of people."

"Sues aren't people!" Piper shouted. "Sues have no weaknesses; no hopes other than wanting to date certain boys; no insecurities, unless they're adorable and make you love the Sue; and altogether nothing about them that make them seem like humans. Sues are not people!"

"Ah, Piper McLean," purred Flame, turning her attention to Piper. "Daughter of Aphrodite. You know, we would forgive your crime with Krysty if you would just join us. You're already nearly a Sue."

"Don't say that to Piper!" Rachel yelled. "She has believable weaknesses!"

"Rachel Elizabeth Dare," Flame said, now facing Rachel. "You know, authors everywhere butcher your character. They make you into a slutty bitch, someone so far from canon that you could be called a Sue, just not a perfect one. Why not join our side? We can make you beautiful, let you be Oracle but still date the boy of your dreams."

Rachel gasped like Flame Nightshadow had kicked her. "I will never join you! If you think that I want to be anything other than the Oracle, then you don't know me at all."

"So you're saying that you're not bitter at all?" question Flame.

"I used to be bitter," Rachel said, lowering her head. "But I'm not anymore."

"Rachel, what are you talking about?" Annabeth asked.

"Rachel, you will die. You have rejected us, and that is the biggest sin ever. But no matter." Flame Nightshadow turned to Annabeth.

"Annabeth Chase," Flame Nightshadow said, her lip curling. "I can't tell you how much you're despised by OCs. People writing fanfiction may love you, but in many stories, you are just a glorified know-it-all slut. All of us hate you, but we'll give you a second chance. Just become a Sue, and you can be forgiven. Percy will love you forever."

Annabeth was itching to become a Sue, but then she realized that being around so many Sues was affecting her. In actuality, Annabeth wasn't at all tempted to join the dark side (even if they did have cookies). The Sues would manipulate her if they thought it would help themselves survive (but the manipulating was totally okay and justified, because they were Sues). They would lie to get what they wanted (but that was okay, because it was justified, as they were Sues.) Rachel and Piper had already turned down offers from the dark side, and Annabeth realized that other than Percy, these girls were her best friends.

"Annabeth would never join you, bitch!" Leah called out.

"Shut up!" Flame snarled. "You're just a second-rate Sue who was able to turn into an OC! No one cares about you."

"No, you shut up!" Annabeth shrieked. "Leah, come over here. You're a great friend. NO ONE insults my friends, Flame."

"Whatever," giggled Annabella. "We probably would've killed you anyway."

"Excuse me," said one of the Lesser Sues in the crowd around Nico, "But what are Sues? Are we Sues?"

"My name isn't Sue," said another one of them.

"Yeah, what's a Sue?" the clamor came up from the crowd.

"Argh!" yelled Flame. She turned around and slashed her claws—sorry, nails—through the row of Sues closest to her. This released Nico, who ran towards Annabeth.

"They're planning on destroying all canon!" he whispered. "You have to stop them. Would you mind if I helped you?"

"No, you have to run away," Annabeth argued. "You're too susceptible to the OOC disease. The last thing we need is one of our allies turning OOC."

"Speaking of which," said Leah, "I have the antidote right here." She passed out small bottles of the potion that counteracted OOCness. "Bottoms up."

They drank.

Meanwhile, Flame had stopped arguing with the Lesser Sues. She had taken out about ten of them, something which was very helpful. Annabeth hadn't realized how much being around these Sues was affecting her until all of the effects were removed by the potion. All of the nagging itches in her body were gone, and she was at full strength again.

Flame seemed to notice this and started laughing. "Too late, Annie," she laughed mirthlessly. "It's time for canon to die, once and for all."

CRACK! With a noise that was like the sound a house-elf makes when apparating, Annabeth, Flame Nightshadow, Annabella, Piper, Leah, and Rachel, and the rest of the Sues found themselves on Mount Tam. "This is where Percy and I held up the sky," Annabeth told them.

"It's a pity that most of the other canon can't go first, but you, Annabeth Chase, piss me off and are going to die NOW," Flame Nightshadow hissed. "And after you are gone, it'll be a cinch to push Thalia off of the cliff along with Luke and leave Percy to hold up the sky!"

Across the rocky peak of the mountain, Thalia was battling Luke. Annabeth couldn't stop herself. She ran across the peak to stop them. She could remember how it felt to see them fighting three years ago: the two people who were her best friends, her parents, almost, fighting each other was too much to see.

"Stop!" she tried to call, but her voice wasn't working.

Almost without realizing it, she had gotten close to the edge of the cliff. She turned around, only to see Flame Nightshadow there. And Flame pushed her.

Annabeth was falling through the air, tumbling toward the rock 100 feet below. This was most definitely the end. She could hear Rachel, Piper, and Leah screaming on the cliff above. Annabeth closed her eyes.

And suddenly, Annabeth felt herself hit something. She opened her eyes, and she was back on the ground at Camp Half-Blood. She jumped up, looking around and trying to see Flame. Her friends were there, too, staring up at something in the air.

Annabeth looked up. Something was floating in the air. Its shape was vaguely human, but it was mostly just a rainbow blob in the sky. More of the rainbow blobs joined the first, some of them more blue or red, some of them pure silver, some of them stretched out like a string and some of them shaped like an egg.

The Sues were all on the ground, and looking at them, Annabeth could tell that it wasn't just the Nico obsessed ones. In fact, it looked like all of the Sues in Camp Half-Blood were there, staring up at the figures in the sky in horror.

"What…" Annabeth wondered.

"We are the Great Gods of Canon," the things in the sky chorused in a musical voice. "We were alerted to canon being defiled in this universe and have come to fix it."

"Thanks," said Rachel.

"Rachel Elizabeth Dare," the Great Gods of Canon said. "Annabeth Chase. Piper McLean. Leah Lerner. You have done canon a great service. You shall be rewarded with the most wonderful reward of canon in this universe never being harmed again."

"Thanks," Annabeth, Rachel, Piper, and Leah chorused.

"We now rid Camp Half-Blood of these abominations," the Great Gods of Canon said.

CRACK! Some of the Sues were sent to the Battle of Hogwarts wearing Death Eater robes and were mowed down by spells. CRACK! Some Sues were sent to the Battle of Pelennor Fields, fell in love with Legolas, and were killed. CRACK! Some were sent to Wolf 359 and were killed in the Borg Attack. CRACK! The rest were killed by the Great Gods of Canon themselves. The Great Gods of Canon then disappeared.

"Wow," said Leah, surveying the newly rid-of-Sues Camp Half-Blood. "That was…interesting."

"To say the least," Rachel smirked.

"I am very, very, happy!" Annabeth shrieked.

"I don't have a splitting headache anymore!" yelled Piper, not Bitchy!Piper or Nice!Piper, but regular Piper.

"YAY!" they all squealed.

"Well," Leah started. "I guess that now we go back to our normal lives."

"Yeah. I'll go to college with my great boyfriend, Percy, and neither of us will be amazingly beautiful, we'll be normal."

"Jason and I will have a regular relationship."

"I can just be the Oracle."

"I'll have fun making potions in the Hecate cabin. Visit me sometime, okay?"

"Kay."

Drew ran up to them, wearing a Camp Half-Blood T-shirt and a modest pair of shorts. "Hey, girls. I needed to give you this, Rachel."

Drew handed Rachel a frying pan with a rainbow stain on it, a memento that Drew actually managed to beat Meridia Wise to death with a frying pan.

"I'm never washing this thing," Rachel whispered reverently.

"Pipes, hon," Drew said slowly, "Do you think that we can actually try to be friends now?"

"Are you sure that you're not OOC?" Piper giggled, giving Drew a hug.

"I'll make sure to make an extra sacrifice tonight—to the Great Gods of Canon," Leah said.

"Back to our normal lives."

"Finally!"

**End!**

**Whew! I hope you liked it. **

**~FandomsForeva**


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